Some late night thoughts.
I have come to realise that age is really just a number. Age and maturity does not necessarily come in a package, it seems.
I used to think that when I reach my mid twenties, I would feel more like an "adult" who automatically knows how to handle herself in different situations and whatever life throws at her in an adept manner. Someone who is also more than capable of making sound and firm judgements when it comes to the major decisions in life, who knows how to talk to all kinds of people and feel at ease while doing so, and am already confident and comfortable in her own skin.
But I guess you can never really be "grown-up" enough. Maybe we just become better at hiding the fact that we are still not good at those things that we thought we would have been good at by now. I still struggle regularly with being the best possible version of myself, and still am dumbfounded (sometimes helpless) when life throws new lemons at me.
Frankly, I still do not feel and think like how I thought I should feel and think by the time I hit adulthood.
Was reading a book the other day and this quote in particular called out to me -
"I will tell you the secret all of us grown-ups have - we don't know what to do. We never know what to do. We just pretend we do until something works."
If I have to check things off a list though, it shows that I am clearly and officially all grown up. I have a full time job running a business which I have endless passion for, I have been through problems and have managed relatively okay so far I guess (haha), I am competent and independent on most days, I can take care of myself and take care of other people although I prefer it to be the other way round, finance wise doing okay and supporting myself well.
But sometimes I just cannot help but feel like my 6 year old self. Or 16 year old self. Anything but my 25-going-on-26 self.
At which point of life will you start feeling like an adult? Or will you never ever?
